Offbeat Funeral
We held my dad’s memorial last weekend and, miraculously, it went off without a hitch. The outdoor tents and tables arrived on time, and so did the flowers. We found an extension cord long enough for the speakers. Hundreds of folks came—my dad was one of those people who somehow knew everyone—and I received countless hugs from people whose names I’ve already forgotten but who assured me that we’d met before, when I was a little baby.
And the weather was perfect for the golf outing! You know, the traditional eighteen holes to honor the dead!
My dad loved to golf. He participated in leagues every Tuesday and Thursday, and he squeezed in rounds whenever he could besides. He went on international trips just to golf! So when his friends offered to organize a memorial golf outing for him, my sister and I said, “let’s do both.”
I haven’t swung a club in at least fifteen years (excluding mini-golf, of course), so we let his pals handle most of the logistics. About 20 people showed up that morning to play, and later, at the main event behind the clubhouse, we let guests take all my dad’s caps as a party favor—most of which were from various courses he’d played throughout his life.
For both my mom and dad, we chose to hold atypical memorials—my mom’s was outside at our family’s favorite bar/restaurant, catered with her favorite pizza. I think people should hold whatever sort of service means most to them, but neither of my parents were religious (at least not at the end of their lives), and I know they wouldn’t have liked a stuffy, all-in-black, traditional funeral home affair. I’m glad we could honor them in a way that reflects their personalities.
Anyone remember that blog Offbeat Bride? Looks like it still exists, though they’ve changed the name to Offbeat Wed—which makes sense, given that gender is dead. Back in the heyday of Google Reader, I used to read it regularly—I loved seeing the nontraditional dresses and themes and swords. So many people want to get married with swords!
What if I started the equivalent here, but for memorials? Offbeat Funeral, anyone? Drop me a line with your alternative memorial story, and I’ll share it on the site.